VaiduS World

Turning 30

turning 30

Today’s daily prompt is the word ‘culture’. Though I wrote this blog almost a year ago, I believe this is the most appropriate one for today’s ‘daily prompt’. It shows some unnoticed loopholes of Indian culture. We really need to fix them to make it great in the true sense.

Aakuti: What’s up?

Prisha: Nothing much! Just trying hard to get some time from my busy schedule. You say? How’s life?

Aakuti: Ahhh… It’s great. I am almost done with my masters. Now, I am planning to go for a nice full-time profile to fill my pockets. 🙂 Anyways! What’s your plan?

Prisha: What plan?

Aakuti: I am asking about marriage. You are going around with someone, right?

Prisha: Yeah! 🙂

Aakuti: So is he also an entrepreneur like you or working full-time for some company?

Prisha: Well, he is working as a software developer in a company currently. But he is planning for his own start-up soon.

Aakuti: Oh, great! So, he must be almost of your age, right?

Prisha: Nope! He is younger to me.

Aakuti: Ohkkk… And what’s his age?

Prisha: 6 Years… He is 6 years younger to me. 🙂

Aakuti: What? Are you nuts?

Prisha: Why? What happened?

Aakuti: Don’t tell me that you people are planning to get married?

Prisha: We want to… what’s wrong with that?

Aakuti: Look! You are making a mistake. I mean… you are 6 years older to him. You know I have studied psychology in past and I know that boys are not mature at this age. In fact, girls get mature early and you are saying that you want to marry this guy who is 6 years older to you? Really?

Prisha: We are together since 3 years now and I know he is very mature. I trust him completely.

Aakuti: Oh c’mon! If we leave this maturity thing also then will he be able to marry you now? I mean, won’t he like to wait and get settled completely before marriage.

Prisha: Yes, maybe! So? I mean… it’s fine to me. I can wait for him. He should achieve everything he wants to. We are mature professionals who understand each other’s dreams. I can wait for another few years.

Aakuti: Really? That is so impractical on your part. You are 30 right now and if you wait for, say, another 4 years, you will be around 34. Don’t you think there will be issues while planning a baby? And what if he says sorry after 4 years and moves on?

Prisha: *Silent*

Aakuti: See, I know it’s difficult for you guys to part but you should understand that when you will be 34, you might face a lot of problems in carrying a baby. I have seen a lot of people facing such issues, you know. And I genuinely care for you so I don’t want you to struggle.

Prisha: Just answer me a few questions:

  1. Can you assure me that if I face any such problem in future then it will be because of my age and not because of some medical complication of my husband?
  2. Are you trying to say that I cannot become a mother at the age of 34? I mean… seriously?
  3. Are you sure that if I get married to someone else now then I will never face medical complications while planning a baby?
  4. And above all, are you sure that when you get married, you will conceive without any complications?

You say that you care for me but you gave me enough reasons to realize that I am old enough to carry a baby at this age. If I would have made similar statements on you then will you be able to handle it? Are you mature enough to listen all this quietly? After listening to all this from a close friend, will your knowledge and studies help you in controlling your aggression and helplessness?

This blog started with a conversation which is purely a piece of fiction. But don’t you find some kind of a reality in it? We always look for an opportunity to advise our friends… a few of them are wise while some were simply not required… we speak, what we think is right. In fact, it’s a human nature that we try to influence people with our thoughts and opinions. We believe that whatever we say is mature, sensible, practical, and correct. But do we ever try to put ourselves in somebody else’s shoes? Ironically, we don’t even realize that our useless advice hurts our loved ones. Strange, right?

We always speak about feminism and women rights but are we (women) accepting each other? Women have proved themselves in every area by now and still there are people who keep on pushing and telling them that they are good for nothing. We still judge them on the basis of marriage and fertility. And it is interesting to know that these people passing judgments are mostly women.

Whenever there is a crime against a woman, we curse this society and even males many times. But do we realize that the society is a group of people and people can be both, males and females?

Whenever an unmarried girl turns 30, her own colleagues, friends, family, relatives, and everyone around her start showing sympathy as if she is dying in next few days. She gets bombarded with a list of advices about how to sit, how to behave, how to look gorgeous at her age, which salon to visit to look young, and what not. All these “Modern People” who speak about women empowerment start giving shitty advices. Do these girls really need it? No! They don’t. They are not only brave enough to prove themselves professionally but they will work double of their husbands in future and even those who give her such stupid and ignorant advices, to have a healthy and peaceful life for herself and her family.

In India, we have been condemning foeticide (abortions). It happens when a family expects a baby but comes to know about a girl child. Indian Government made a hell lot of efforts to aware people to kill this stupid thinking. But you know what?

I am a girl and I feel that if you can’t respect us then “Kill Us” in our mothers’ wombs!

A mother doesn’t give birth to a baby, a baby gives birth to a mother and a father. Now, imagine! You are worried about your (girl) friend who is turning 30 so as per you, she might face problems in conceiving. Basically, you are saying that I doubt about your birth. Isn’t it ridiculous? Will you ever question and show the same concern to a male friend?

Why is it assumed that if a couple is going through some medical complications while planning a baby then it is only because of a woman? Don’t you guys who are reading this get hormonal problems? I might not be good in understanding medical complications while writing this. And I agree that there is a possibility of a complication at a woman’s part in such a situation but is there any doctor who can give an assurance in written that there will be no complication with a girl who is in her 20s and planning a baby? Or is there any doctor who can assure that a girl who is above 30 years of age will face such problems only because of her age and not because of her husband?

I am a blogger but before anything I am a girl. Today, I have raised a lot of questions in this blog but before concluding, I wish to raise my last question. Why do we judge or predict someone else’s life when we are not sure about our next second?

This society is made up of a lot of genders and we collectively perceive that a woman of more than 30 years of age will surely have complications while conceiving. So, it is important for all of us (be it any gender) to understand that complications and problems don’t knock the door after checking the age. It arrives and gives you the strength to fight back but if you are alone, you will surely lose. So let’s just unite and stop giving silly suggestions. They are really not needed.

2 responses to “Turning 30”

  1. Dinesh S. Sirohi Avatar
    Dinesh S. Sirohi

    Excellent work on this blog. These should be more Social Awareness like this post on blogs & should be shared with everyone so that people who still are not matured enough to understand & think before expressing their views should be made aware of importance of life from these social awareness blogs.

    I do really appreciate work done by you. Keep it up…!!!


    1. Thanks for your kind words, Dinesh. 🙂

      Well, this blog was created with the same reason of spreading a word against ill practices prevailing in the society and how we can overcome them. I pen down my thinking and wish to spread awareness on various social issues through this blog. I hope some day it will reach millions of people and I will be able to contribute towards the benefits of the society in my own way. 🙂

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